So I was listening to Preston & Steve on my way into work the other morning (long running awesome morning radio show for those not in the Philly know) and this guy Jake Tapper was on promoting his book All the Demons Are Here, a thriller set in the 1970s. He mentioned how he was researching Evel Knievel when writing this book. Evel Knievel was a stuntman back in the day for those also not in the ‘70s/’80s stuntman know.
Evel Knievel – Photo by Michael Ochs Archives on Getty Images
Jake Tapper said that through his research he learned that some Hollywood types had purchased the life rights of Evel Knievel (you can buy someone’s life rights?) but a movie was never made. My cursory GTS’ing showed a documentary or two exists but no blockbuster film. He said no one made the film because Evel was an awful guy, lived as an awful guy and died as an awful guy. He was awful forever.
There was no redemption in the third act. Hence, no arc.
Hence, boring. Who wants a story without a buildup, a confrontation and a resolution? More so, if the buildup, confrontation and resolution are all the same? Food Network’s Halloween Baking Championship has more intrigue. It really does, I love that show.
We want stories that run the gamut of emotions, about characters we love to hate and hate to love. We want stories where someone triumphs over tragedy, the girl who turns her life around or the bad boy who finds the error of his ways. Hell, even Darth Vader had a compelling story arc when he slayed the Emperor and sacrificed himself to save his son. No spoiler alert sign needed here because if you haven’t seen the original Star Wars movies by now, I don’t even know what to say to you.
Anyway, while pulling into the parking lot of work this morning I thought, does my own life story have an arc? I hope so. Where am I now on that arc?
Evel was 69 when he died. But you don’t even have to have lived a long life to have an arc. You could also live to be 100 years old and have no arc. Or you can be like a friend of mine who I think has been through 10 arcs already and he’s only 30. Someone should make a movie of his life.
Jake Trapper said something today that I would have learned had I actually pursued writing in college–that most good stories have this three act structure: the setup, the confrontation and the resolution. Makes sense. It’s just like the classic boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy holds up a boombox in girl’s front yard to get her back.
John Cusack in Say Anything
Bam, and there you have a great story.
I started thinking “what is my story?” Besides the obvious biographical data and wikipediaesque facts I could put on a timeline, what is the true essence of my story? And where the fuck is the story going?
At 51 years old it’s easier to see now.
I didn’t see the setup that my decades of stories were creating. All the tragedies, comedies, dramadies, people, experiences and life lessons all culminating to the second act, the confrontation, which started last year when I began therapy. To be clear, actually my 4th attempt at therapy (I think, I’ve lost count.)
But I don’t really count those first three attempts many years ago because those therapists didn’t get me. I thought I was “ungettable”, too odd and weird for even a professional to understand.
Reminds me of my friend’s 10-year-old daughter telling him she likes her best friend, a boy who lives down the street, because he “gets her.” Ten years old.
The funny shit kids say.
But on this fourth time someone got through and helped me make sense of this chaos that I call my brain. A chaos I had always avoided confronting.
A ruminator’s gonna ruminate, not necessarily confront.
But I finally faced my fears (myself) and got some answers as to why I am the way I am, got some insight into how to come to terms with the history of my life, and got some much needed encouragement on how to go forward, without the self-hate dead weight that I’ve been dragging around all these years.
So here I am at the second act, the confrontation.
I like to call it the Acme act. Acme as in Wile E. Coyote’s anvil company. Yeah, I still have that fear that everything could come crashing down harder than an anvil falling off a giant cliff.
It’s happened before.
But at this precise moment, 7:47 p.m. on October 18, 2024, I can confidently say, as important therapy advice runs on cruise control in the back of my mind, that I’m…happy. Gasp!
Who would have thought.
So as I make more progress each week with my mental health and continue to sort out this mess in my head, I know there is something I should be doing with all this new-found clarity.
Enter the third act, resolution—taking all these lessons, all this healing and putting it towards a purpose.
You’re reading the purpose right now. I’ve always said I’m grateful for the up/down/inside-out/zig-zaggy way my life has gone because otherwise I’d have nothing to write about. I’m thankful as shit I’ve been lucky enough to have 51 years of experience on this Earth so far. God willing I’ll get 51 more, give or take.
Hey, we all can’t get lucky enough to have lives like a classic ’90s rom-com. Nerdy girl gets a makeover, garners the attention of the captain of the football team, he somehow disses her, she goes back to her glasses-wearing, brooding self, Captain Popular realizes he liked all her all along just the way she was and in a grand display wins her back.
Then they both sail off into the sunset behind the backdrop of the ivy league college they both got accepted to.
Photo by Tim Alex on Unsplash
Ah, dare to dream.
But we love those stories.
My story certainly hasn’t been near as great as all that, unless you think roller coasters that derail are great.
How do you feel about your story so far? The good, the bad and the ugly? It all makes you who you are today.
I may not be staring at a sunset with an ivy league degree in my hand (go community college and Temple!), but I am in a place now where the sun is at least shining.
Thank you anti-depressants.
I jest. Well, not entirely.
But it’s not just medication, it’s the work I’ve done to get to this place. Work I didn’t do in most of Act 1.
The work of redemption.
Jake Tapper said about Evel “there is no redemption in Act 3”. I’m working on redemption. Trying to redeem myself from…myself.
I’m getting there. Yeah yeah, “everyday is a journey” and blah blah blah. I could spew out more “finding yourself” inspirational bullshit but hey, you’ll find yourself if you want to. Redeem yourself if you want to. Or you’ll go “fuck all that noise” if you want to and go out and party tonight til 3 am. I don’t judge or tell anyone what to do. I just put down in words what I’ve been through. And we’ve all been through something.
Does your life have three acts? Maybe more? Less? Where are you right now on that continuum?
Just my random thoughts upon hearing a random interview on my way to work one morning. Deep Thoughts–that was an old SNL skit. Deep Thoughts might as well be the title of my biography, after all the acts are done, which hopefully isn’t for a long long time.
Hope you’re listening Universe! I said a long long time!
As my friend says, live your life like you’d want a movie made about you.
What would be the title of your movie?
❤️
CM
10/18/24
