“That’s it, this is the last straw”!
A lot of people have said this a time or two in their life, including yours truly. You know what most people who say this really are?
Liars.
Yours truly included.
Why do we lie to ourselves and say it’s the last straw when it really isn’t? We say this to ourselves when we’re pushed to the breaking point. Then we inevitably go back, giving that thing, situation, person, one more chance.
There always seems to be one more straw. Why?
How many times have you said this about, say, your job? If such and such happens one more time, that’s it, I’m quitting, that will be the last straw.
How many times have you said this about even objects? If this car, computer, tv, margarita blender or whatever, breaks one more time then I’m getting rid of it. That will be the last straw.
How many times have you said it about a relationship? If so and so does such and such one more time, that’s it, I’m out, that will be the last straw.
How many times though have you actually found that last straw to be more like handkerchiefs popping out of a magician’s hat? There’s always one more, and one more, and one more…
Yeah, I know. Been there, and there and there and there.
It’s not magic, it’s our inability to let go of things that we know aren’t good for us, that aren’t working anymore. Letting go, oh so much easier said than done.
And that’s just it, it’s easier to stay, easier to keep going doing the same thing. It’s easier to deal with the devil you know versus the one that you don’t.
The devil you don’t know is the unknown.
And who isn’t afraid of the unknown?
It all boils down to fear. Fear stops us from so much. But what if I quit my job and the next one sucks more? What if I get rid of this unreliable margarita mixer and the next one explodes in my face? (No more margaritas? Oh the horror!) What if I drop this relationship and the next one is with a reincarnation of Ike Turner?
Or what if the opposite of all that happened?
What if. It’s quite a roll of the dice.
Is it though?
If something has pushed you to even utter the comment “this is the last straw”, then you’re already at the edge anyway. It’s fear that is keeping you from jumping off to the other side, into the unknown.
And if the wise Tony Danza taught us anything, he taught us to not be afraid and to jump, without trepidation, without worry and with open arms.
The Tony Danza Principle – live it, love it. Oh you’ve never heard of it? Probably because I made it up. But it is true.
Are you worried if you use up that last straw then you could fall flat on your face? You might.
Might not.
Change is difficult, letting go is difficult, starting anew on a clear path is difficult. But it’s even harder trying to traverse that old path cluttered with last straws.
People get used to straw-cluttered paths.
They say “but that’s how it’s always been”. They proclaim “but I’ve had this blender for years! I know this job like the back of my hand! I’ve been with this person forever!” They know their way around the path by now.
The path is comfortable.
But does that make it the right path?
Where is that path getting you?
I hear you saying but what about love Christine? “But I love this old blender, love parts of my job, love this person.” Sorry to say, but love does not conquer all. And just because you love something, doesn’t mean you need to hold on to it.
I ask you, how much do you love yourself?
In the past I’ve stayed with things, jobs, people, way too long, longer than I should have, because I was comfortable. I wasn’t happy though. But I was too scared to leave, too scared to make a change.
Until one day I did.
I have to say, the times I have followed through in ending my relationship with something – a soul-sucking job, a band-aided appliance, a not-right-for-me person, it wasn’t actually the last straw that did it.
It was the ton of straws before it, hanging like a giant Acme anvil over my Wile E. Coyote head. One day, the anvil just fell. No dramatic episode, no blow-out fight, no tear-filled last gasp pleading. Just an aha moment that came over me one fateful day where I said “I’ve had enough”.
And I meant it.
Saying this is the last straw and not meaning it is just your fear’s way of making empty promises to yourself. In the moment you may say you’ve had enough, but fear makes you inevitably retract that statement because it convinces you that next time will be different, even though the 100 “last times” have not.
Fear has a way of getting what it wants, and what it wants is nothing to change.
But we are stronger than our fears. We are stronger than we think and more than we usually give ourselves credit for.
Empowerment beats out fear any day.
So next time you find yourself saying “this is the last straw” think about why. Are you setting yourself up to be let down by…yourself?
I say speak up, stand up, and put that last straw to good use.
Put it in a margarita.
❤️
CM
8/4/23
