It’s funny how life works.
I wrote Tuna Fish and Doritos a couple months ago (even though my procrastination pushed off my posting it), then a few weeks ago I watched the movie Paterson. It’s like the Universe knew I needed it. It summarized much more artistically and eloquently than I ever could my Tuna Fish and Doritos message.
This movie has immediately moved on to my top 10 if not top 5 favorites list. I would say go out and see this movie, but I don’t think most people would enjoy it as much as I did. It’s deep, existential, maybe even boring to some.
It’s about a bus driving poet. I know you’re thinking “ugh”. But I see the brilliance in it’s simplicity. With careful words this bus driving poet turns something basic like a pack of matches into a work of art. Granted, I had to do a little googling afterward to see what message I was suppose to be getting and I read a lot of different opinions and critiques. I was also made aware of a lot of symbolism that had went over my head.
Mostly what I realized though is that it doesn’t matter what message I was suppose to get. Same can be said about anything that has an impact on you. Whatever you take from it is all that matters.
And what I took from this movie is that it’s the simple things in life that are the most beautiful and should be the most cherished.
They also happen to be the things I know I have been taking for granted.
My latest bout of the death spiral (aka whirlpool of depression) has been clouding my judgment along with my fatal flaw that a friend pointed out to me: I put too much pressure on myself. He’s right, I do.
He then passed along some sage advice he received from a wise man I’ll call Mr. Elba: “you don’t always have to be a person to yourself”.
In other words, you don’t have to be a certain this or that, or a perfect this or that, or live up to some sky high expectations you set for yourself. That’s all a recipe for failure and food that feeds a swirling bout of depression.
I need more to just…be. Stop worrying, stop self-criticizing, just be and enjoy the ride.
I’ve always said the Universe gives you what you need. I feel like today it just gave me a little wink. 
CM
8/19/21 (yeah, yeah, so I wrote this in August and now it’s January. What can I say, expert procrastination right there)
*Right after I finished this I heard something on tv – “make your mess your message”. I like that. Pretty much sums all this up. Good timing.
