Seriously, who came up with this idea?
I get why–the ubiquitous cleanse from all the overindulging we did around the holidays.
I say it’s all bullshit.
Dry January is just another way of lying to ourselves.
Did I participate in Dry January this year? HAHAHAHA!!! Good one. Um, hell to the fucking no.
The real sad part is I don’t think I could have even if I wanted to. Some of us need our vices more than others just to get through the day.
Now I don’t drink everyday, and even on the days that I do, I don’t always go balls to the wall. But I probably haven’t gone one full week without a drink in…hold on…I’m thinking…
Yeah, I have no idea. I did five days in a row not long ago. Give a girl some credit.
For those of you who do participate in this made-up tour of duty, good on you. Just don’t try and shove this shit down my throat, it’s already full of wine anyway.
If you succeed at Dry January, let me ask you, why did you do it in the first place? I’m curious. Besides the obvious health benefits, what were you getting from it? A sense of control? I am stronger than my vices! I get that too, but maybe your vices didn’t have quite the grip you portrayed in the first place.
Maybe you just want the bragging rights.
That’s lying.
There’s people who set themselves up for failure then there’s the ones who set themselves up for guaranteed success. If it’s guaranteed, is it really a success that you can be proud of?
My sister can do Dry Any Month, she just is not a big drinker. Does she go around flaunting her Dry April, Dry October? Nah, she’s just living her life.
Those who boast as if they just survived a charge through No Man’s Land in 1918 are lying to themselves. Was your conquest over alcohol really ever gonna be that hard for you in the first place?
Then there are those who love to drink, lock up their liquor for the month of January, then on February 1st at 12:01 a.m. open up that cabinet and hear the angels sing. They go right back to their imbibing and continue to do so the rest of the year like nothing ever happened or changed.
Because it didn’t.
So what, you didn’t drink for four weeks? What does it matter if, after your cleanse, you’re going out pounding shots and hitting the town with James and Jim and Johnnie like you guys were never on a break?
What does it all matter?
Then there are those who are middle-of-the-road. They probably drink like a “normal” person, but they’ll do Dry January because “all the kids are doing it”.
Fucking sheep.
They lie to themselves too. They can’t even figure out who they really are on their own so they do what everyone else does, just because.
I feel the worst for those people. Lost among the flock.
Hey, if you didn’t drink at all this past month, I do have to give you some credit. I can’t do it, also I don’t want to. But I don’t lie to myself about why. I also don’t let myself feel bad about the why.
Yeah, I’ve had a lot of emotional shit to deal with for what feels like most of my life, don’t we all. Some days a drink, even just one, numbs it all enough so I can get through this thing called life without wanting to throw myself down a flight of stairs. But I don’t pretend that’s not the case.
“Being human is a condition that requires a little anesthesia.” – Freddy Mercury
Some of us require more than others.
And I don’t let myself feel bad about it either. I could be a lot worse off. Hell, I could let James, Jim and Johnnie move in and live with me 24/7, but I don’t. They are allowed to visit though.
I do what I can with what I have to deal with. A lot of times that’s all we can do.
Maybe instead of abstaining from alcohol for a month we should try to abstain from self-hate. We could try putting down the bottle of Negative Self-Talk and give ourselves a break.
No thanks, I don’t want a shot of low self-esteem today, I’m trying to cut back.
Insecurity, self-doubt, emotional and mental self-torture–harmful things you can’t even make a drink out of.
So for those of you who made no drinks this month and gave up the sauce, good job. But I propose that we give up the self-hate, be nicer to ourselves and drink in the self-worth.
Now that’s a dry time I could get behind.
❤️
CM
1/26/24
