I hate that Guns N Roses pops into my head when I think of the word patience. The word whiny also comes to mind right now. I need patience to listen to that song.
Are you a patient person? Does it matter?
Not really I guess, in the grand scheme of life. Or does it?
“Patience is a virtue”. “Good things come to those who wait”. Yeah, yeah. What happens if you’re not a patient person? Nothing.
Being edgy and cranky when something isn’t happening as quickly as you want it to doesn’t make it come any quicker. And being calm and accepting that things come in their own good time doesn’t make them happen any quicker either.
The only problem with being impatient is the needless frustration it creates, for yourself.
Why needlessly stress yourself out? Some people just can’t fucking help it.
My mom is admittedly very impatient. Very as in she takes the gold medal in impatience. Why have I been standing in line for five whole minutes at this grocery store? How fucking long is the halftime of this Eagles game anyway? It’s been two solid minutes – where is our waitress!? What is she squashing the pinot grigio grapes herself?
Yeah, she can’t wait. She ain’t got no time for that.
On the other end of the spectrum, is my friend/partner-in-crime. He is the eye of the storm in a hurricane of waiting.
Ever get a fishing line tangled? Even a non-fisherman can imagine that curse-laden exasperation. It happened to my friend one day. He spent more time trying to untangle that mess of a line than I did editing this (that’s a looooong time). He didn’t complain, didn’t throw the rod in anger, didn’t even curse. He just painstakingly went about untangling that line like it was no big deal.
Because it wasn’t. Life goes on.
And life did go on, all around us. While he was knee deep in a mess of knots some kids came by with their neatly wound Playskool My First Fishing Rods. They cast off right next to us and reeled in fish after fish after fish. Then they packed up their stuff and went home, all while my friend was still left standing in a hair-pulling, jumbled nylon ball of what the fuck.
He stuck with it though. Goddamn it he stuck with it. He finally got that Rubik’s cube of a line untangled. We casted our newly straightened lines as the sun was setting. Didn’t catch one thing. Damn Playskool rods showing us up.
But it was truly a great day. I was astonished by his patience during that debacle. I would have given up after the 10-year-old Bassmasters next to us caught their first fish.
My friend didn’t complain, didn’t get mad, didn’t freak out. And he didn’t give up. I admire that.
But he didn’t get anything as a reward for his patience. Yeah, an untangled line finally, but no fish.
In the end did my mom get anything with her expressions of displeasure in waiting? Not anytime sooner than she would have.
So who wins? What does being patient get you? The ends don’t seem to justify the means.
I suppose being patient doesn’t give you an early heart attack. All that extra stress on yourself and all. Though my mom has never had a heart attack. But she’s gonna outlive all of us anyway. She’s a medical marvel.
What patience does give you is inner peace. Peace to know you stuck with something, even when it was hard. Even when you don’t catch anything at the end of the day. You know one day you will. Or maybe you won’t, because you weren’t meant to.
Ever been around someone who gets angry when they’re impatient? Yeah, that’s a day ruiner. My mom doesn’t get angry. Annoyed, but not angry, and that only lasts for 30 seconds. Love you mom!
My dad was an impatient man. He used to get angry at little, stupid shit all the time. Gold medal in laying a floor of eggshells he’d win. After he left I vowed that I would never be that way. Ever.
So instead of me getting impatient because my fishing friend wasn’t untangling the line quick enough, I tried to help, as much as I could. Hard for two people to untangle one line. After that didn’t work, I just lounged, watched our 10-year-old fishing nemeses next to us show us up, laughed about it and enjoyed the sun on my face, the peaceful water, and the beautiful day.
As I always bring every post back to this, because, well, everything can relate, I’m thankful to have had patience since November 24, 2016 – one of those “before and after” moments that change your life.
Patience taught me that time heals even the deepest wounds of the heart. And it has. Well, still is. Is healing from the death of the love of your life ever really over?
Patience in healing hasn’t brought my dead loved one back obviously, but it has made the years after easier. Patience is like hope. I trust the Universe when it comes to patience. The Universe bandaged me up. I can wait for the wounds to heal.
Friends like my fishing compadre and my ever-loving, quirky, she-doesn’t-make-apologies-for-who-she-is mother have helped. Shout out to my sister too on this one of course.
So being patient doesn’t necessarily bring things to you quicker. It may never even bring you anything at all, especially that thing you’re so eagerly anticipating.
But it will give you strength. Strength to know you can handle anything, from the death of a loved one to a tangled fishing line, given enough time.
So yes, patience is a virtue. And yes, good things do come to those who wait. Peace of mind is a good thing.
Friends and family to care for you are a good thing too.
Now where is my pinot grigio!
CM
3/2/23
