I have no idea what this piece is about. I was just free writing earlier and the thought that I like Doritos on a tuna fish sandwich popped in my head (not sure why and don’t judge it til you try it). I said to myself, hey, that sounds like a good title for something. But a good title for what?
Tuna fish and Doritos do not sound like they go together but man is it a tasty lunch. Or even skip the bread and just dip Doritos into some tuna fish. Mmm mmm. And please people, no Miracle Whip! I heard a lady at Wawa today ask for Miracle Whip on her egg sandwich. WTF? If you’re not using Hellman’s I’m not sure I can talk to you.
Condiment compatibility. I said this term a LONG time ago. If you and your partner aren’t compatible in your condiment usage you’ve got a tough road ahead. 
Anyway, tuna fish and Doritos are an admittedly odd combo. But I like odd. I like weird. I like different. I certainly live my life like that so why should my choice in lunches be any different.
I was in grade school when I discovered this delicious duo. Back then, four days out of five mom usually packed a tuna fish sandwich with a small (and man, back in those days they were small) bag of Doritos for my lunch. A pack of Tastykakes for dessert, some ice tea in my Charlie Brown thermos and I was good to go. Ate that deliciousness then it was out to the best time of the day – recess!
Now as great as this lunch was, after a while, I started to look at it as boring. So one day I just decided to actually put the Doritos into the sandwich and voila, the magic was born.
Yeah, by today’s standards this was not the healthiest of lunches, but when you’re 8 years old and you run around like a banshee all day, you could definitely afford the calories. Don’t worry, my mom and dad made sure I ate healthy in general. Gotta at least eat the boiled to death, unbuttered, unsalted vegetables at dinner before you’re allowed to go back outside and play tag until the sun went down (and even after the sun went down in the summertime).
I still don’t know what this piece is about. Just blabbering on. Health? Weird combos? Being different? Trying something new? Looking at something differently. Aha, maybe that’s it.
Maybe I’ve just been looking at things all wrong.
I look at everything with too much worry – the past, the present, the future. I tell my mom to stop worrying all the time. Maybe I need to look at myself and realize I do that too much too. Maybe worry isn’t the right word. Lamenting is more precise. Am I making the most out of my life? Am I doing the best that I can?
Can’t waste my life. Gotta be productive, constructive, instructive, seductive (haha just threw that in there cause it rhymes). Phew, a lot to think about. A lot to look at.
I looked at that tuna fish sandwich with a side of Doritos for a long time until that one momentous day when I said hmm, let’s put these two together. Simple thing, done just a little different, and the differentness was all the better.
Do you ever look at your life with too much worry? Only focus on what’s seemingly wrong, what’s not working, what you don’t have? We all have our troubles, but maybe laying our full life out on the table and looking at it differently by appreciating the good parts, however small, is the better way to go.
I can think of all the ways I’d like to change the decor of my house if I had more money (and even one interior decorating bone in my body). But after living in attic and basement apartments for years, I instead should just be thankful that this house has a lot of big, nice windows that let in the wonderful, warm sunlight.
I’m especially thankful for one window in particular that I used to break into my house recently after an embarrassingly drunken night out when I lost my keys. But that’s a whole other story. Moving on…
So worrying about everything from the basic home decor to the complex creating a purposeful life, is well, exhausting. Why do we do these things to ourselves?
To combat this self-defeating habit, I’ll steal a mantra that gets said in almost every yoga class I’ve ever attended – “be present”.
Like really be fucking present.
Appreciate where you are and what you have in the now. You got off the couch and made it to the mat today, that’s something. You’re healthy enough to even attend a yoga class, a big something.
It’s human nature to worry, analyze, overthink at times. But thinking too much, well, we all know how that goes. The past is done, the future – who the hell knows, so the present is all we have. And everything is okay, window treatments or not.
So now I know what Tuna Fish and Doritos is about. It’s about looking at things differently. It’s about seeing that you already have everything you need right in front of you.
Maybe you’re thinking “fuck off Christine, everything in front of me sucks right now”.
Maybe it does. (Hey, they all can’t be days of wine and roses. )
Or maybe it actually doesn’t.
Could be we just need to take a step back, take what we already have and simply put it together a little bit differently.
Again, what the fuck do I know, but it’s a thought.
So if you’re in your head too much sometimes like I am, give yourself a break! Maybe you’ll see that nothing needs to change at all except your own perception.
At the very least, maybe you’ll find a new tasty sandwich.
Now time for some recess.
CM
10/29/21
