Are you a procrastinator? I wonder how many of us are out there. Now I’m not talking about the type of person that occasionally puts off cleaning out their refrigerator until that leftover chicken parm from four weeks ago can walk out to the trash can on its own. We all put off stuff like that. I’m talking about expert level, full on professional procrastinators such as myself.
I’m ashamed to say I’ve been living by the mantra “why do something today when you can save it for an eternity of tomorrows?”
I can find 612+ reasons why not to do something right now – I’m tired, it’s raining, it’s sunny, it’s Sunday (no one is productive on a Sunday!), it’s the waxing gibbous moon in the year of the Ox. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why does doing something tomorrow always seem like a better idea than doing it today?
I woke up yesterday morning and finally said I’ve had enough. Like most things in my life, it took the proverbial ton of bricks to fall on my head to wake me up. Or maybe it was Mercury ending it’s retrograde yesterday and the planets have decided they’ve had enough of me and my laziness. (Yeah, I believe in all that stuff. Call me crazy. No seriously, you can call me crazy. I’m well aware of my craziness.)
I’m tired of being lazy. Just plain over it. So I decided to do some research into why I’m so lazy and why I procrastinate with more gusto than my mom yelling at the tv during Eagles games. I learned some interesting things. Maybe these apply to you too. Maybe at least knowing why we let our refrigerators turn into things even Bill Nye would gasp at can be a start to curbing this unrelenting bad habit.
I’ve procrastinated all my life. Ironically, this writing itself is my way of procrastinating on finishing the five other posts I’ve started. Hell, I even procrastinated being born. It’s true.
Much to the anguish of my mother, I was born two weeks after her due date. She jokes that I was in no rush to get out then and I haven’t been in a hurry to do anything ever since. Leaving you in the womb to marinate until you’re ready to come out doesn’t happen anymore, that was the 1970s after all. My sister on the other hand, shot out like a cannon and has been on the move ever since.
(Quick side story: while my parents were driving to the hospital when my mom was in labor with my sister their car broke down and kids on their way to their prom stopped to give my parents a ride. Those kids have a great story to tell all these years later.)
So I’ve always thought well, I’ve been like this since birth so it’s just how I am. Excuses excuses. Maybe DNA is at least a little part of it, but I’ve admittedly never worked that hard to change my behavior in all these years. Probably my life experience combined with some innate internal drive permanently set to “eh, I’ll get to it” has brought me to where I am today – gold medal status procrastinator.
Now I’m no expert (except in procrastinating), teacher or counselor so I’m not going to lecture you. Nor will I be organizing some kind of wellness retreat where a man-bun wearing guy named Blaine can teach us all how to meditate to free us from our bonds of procrastination. (“His name is Blaine? That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!” – Pretty in Pink anyone? That line always makes me laugh.) Anyway, all I can do is share with you what I’ve learned through my experience and extensive (read: cursory) research (aka Google).
First and foremost, I learned procrastination does not equal laziness. Who knew? Laziness is the act of being idle, doing nothing. Procrastination is doing other things in place of the task you need to do or should be doing. Procrastinators are actually doers. Yep.
I say to myself, “I really should do more writing today. But hey, I can fold laundry instead! I mean, my laundry does need to get folded after all. I’ll write tomorrow.”
“I really should call this financial advisor I’ve been meaning to and get at least the money part of my life together. Oh wait, the twist ties in my kitchen drawer are a mess. Better organize those first. I’ll call tomorrow.”
In school I would always put off writing papers – what there’s a Friends rerun on right now that I’ve never seen? (Didn’t know there was such a thing as an “unseen” Friends episode.) Well I have to watch it! My life will not be complete without seeing this! I’ll write that paper tomorrow. I write better under pressure anyway, or so I’ve told myself.
And so on and so on and so on.
So apparently I’m not lazy (well maybe besides the errant TV binge watching here and there, lately more here than there). Phew! So what’s my problem?
Now I could regurgitate to you the dozens of internet articles I’ve now read on this subject but that’s freakin boring. If you want to procrastinate reading the rest of this post then by all means, have at it and do some googling for yourself.
I even direct you to try an online quiz (yep, I did several of them just this morning, obviously to avoid writing this) that will tell you what category of procrastinator you fall into.
Maybe you’re a perfectionist and put things off because you don’t feel you will do them…well, perfectly.
Maybe you start things but never get around to finishing them because you are easily distracted by your ADD, OCD, PTSD or whatever other “D” that may afflict you.
Maybe you thrive under pressure, as I thought I did in school, and feel confident you can always get your projects completed in time no matter how soon (or late) you start – so why start now? My computer crashing one morning before a big paper was due would say different.
Or maybe you’re like me, and your avoidance of doing things is actually because of a deep, internal struggle with fear and self-doubt.
I realize the things I most put off doing, like writing and phone calls (even to a stranger such as a financial advisor), are things that involve me revealing myself – talking, expressing, exposing. And this weird, anxious fear I have about all that is the crux of my procrastination.
We avoid doing things we’re afraid of even though we know those things may be good for us and will make us better in the long run. I tend to say “sorry long run, but my sock drawer needs organizing!”
I procrastinate to avoid – avoid emotions and avoid self-doubt. Can’t get upset about things you never face and can’t criticize work that never gets done.
So how the hell then do you fix this mess?
Knowing why you put things off in the first place is a good place to start. Really look into why you’re a chronic procrastinator beyond the “I just don’t feel like it” excuse. I use that one all the time. I don’t “feel like” writing today or I’m not “in the mood”. Bullshit.
The real reason I don’t “feel like” writing all the delicate, emotional pieces that as of now are just ideas swirling around in my mind is because I don’t want to go there and stir up all those emotions. But maybe those emotions need to be stirred up.
They’ve been stuffed down, packed up and stored away for too long anyway. Dusting those off would be good for me. And maybe good for you too.
Are you the kind of procrastinator that I am? Afraid that what you do won’t be good enough? Will be criticized? Is that task you’re putting off seemingly too emotional to tackle? So how do you start?
An obvious step is to turn off the TV/phone/social media. You can’t get things done with all those distractions acting like a devil on your shoulder.
Second, visualize (Blaine might say this) the good feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction that will come with completing what you set out to do. I definitely feel better after actually finishing a writing piece instead of letting it loom in the rough draft abyss for weeks or months. My self-doubt however, often tends to be stronger than potential feelings of accomplishment and is always working to undermine this, but gotta try – baby steps.
Next, maybe promise yourself a reward for when you’ve finished that daunting task. My reward is going to be a nice glass of wine (or 5) if I ever finish this. Yep, this writing will now be done within minutes! Hey, whatever motivates you.
These steps all seem pretty obvious, but they do hold merit. This last step that I’ve come across isn’t so obvious, at least it wasn’t to me but I get it.
It’s forgiveness. Forgive yourself for your past procrastination. It’s okay, we all do it. Doesn’t make us terrible people. Try not to say “well, I’m just a procrastinating mess so fuck ever trying.” Just because you lazed the day away yesterday watching a Band of Brothers marathon doesn’t mean you need to do it tomorrow. Band of Brothers is awesome by the way and educational so don’t beat yourself up too much about such digressions (as I did last week).
Tomorrow is day, so at least just try and make it a GSD day – Get Shit Done. And if not tomorrow, then try the next day and the next and the next. Keep trying. You’ll feel better for it.
In perusing the ton of information I found on procrastination I came across this great tidbit on a blog called Wait But Why by Tim Urban. Now I don’t know who this guy is or where he got this line but I love it:
“pro-cras-ti-na-tion (noun) – the action of ruining your own life for no apparent reason.”
Hit the nail on the head with that one Tim. Well I can safely say, at least for today, my life is not ruined.
Now time for that glass of wine.
CM
2/21/21
