(A Short Short Story)
Crack! And that ball is outta here!
Damn, now we’re losing. I agree with the onslaught of boos around me in the stands. This pitcher sucks.
“HEY PITCH, YOU GONNA PUT A FETUS ON THAT HANGER?”
My head snaps back. WTF?
My first thought: who says something like that?
My second thought: clever
Driving home in the car after the game my friends and I vented about all the reasons why our team lost yet another one. “My high school softball team could play better than that!” “Our baserunners were about as fast as the GEICO sloth!” “That pitcher couldn’t pitch his way out of a paper bag. If he threw one more hanger…”
Trying to sleep that night, I laid in bed thinking that that GEICO commercial is funny as shit and how exactly do you pitch your way out of a paper bag?
Then I remembered fetus guy.
Then I had a cringey revelation–I think I’m fetus girl.
I’m the one who’s been dangling lifeless for these last nine years. Not moving forward, backward or anyward. I’m just suspended out there on the end of a hanger.
Listlessly stuck in the air of grief.
At least that crappy pitcher today is doing something with his life. I’ve just been going through the motions. Yeah, I went to a baseball game today. Great. But was I really there? Have I truly been present for anything? A quick mental flip through the pages of the last few years confirms it.
No, I have not.
But I stay busy at least, trying to justify my life to myself. I’ve done the packing, purging and redecorating. I got back to yoga, back to nature and back into therapy. I go to work and get my shit done. I do daily life like a boss.
At least I’m good at making it look that way.
But where have I been during all this busyness business? I didn’t let my hands stay idle to keep the devil away.
I kept them busy to keep my feelings at bay.
But I’m fine, I function! Hey, I don’t put vodka in my morning coffee (yet), my brain now arguing with itself. I may have even been accused of enjoying living life a time or two, so there!
A time or two.
As long as I don’t make any sudden movements, disturb anything or even breathe too loud, I’ll be fine.
As long as I’m invisible, this hanger will hold up.
❤️
CM
